Ring ring.

It's been too long, hasn't it?




*Ring ring*




'Hello?'



'Guess who, Goony Bird?'



'Doublemint!'




'Can we do the thing?'



'Okay, you go first.'



'WASSSSUUUUUUUPPPPP'



'WASSSSUUUUUUUPPPPPP'



'WASSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPP'



'WASSSSSSSUPPPPPPPPPPP'



'WASSSSSUUUPPPPPPPPP'



'WASSSSSSSUPPPPPPPPPPP'



'Man, that just never gets old.'



'Totes.'



'So anyhow. Thought I should buzz and give you the 411 on Project Moustache Bomb.'



'Sweet.'



'It's going pretty well, isn't it? Don't you think it's going well?'



'........'



'John?'



'..........'



'I said it's going well. With the pyjama machine-gun men. They crack me up.'



'..........'



'I think we've got a bad line.'



'.......'



'Anyhoo, I figured since people are so desperate to head over there and get splattered, we may as well let 'em. I mean, who am I to break up a party, huh?'



'Er...right.'



'A little wine, a little music. A little BANG BANG INFIDEL I SPRING FROM BEHIND CAR WITH SUICIDE BOMB AND EXPLODE YOU. Ahahahahahaa. You get me?'



'Yeah, I guess.'



'Jenna loves it when I do that shit.'



'I bet.'



'She's all 'Dad, do the brown guy! Do the brown guy!' Not much going on upstairs but she's a sweet kid, you know?'



'They're cute when they're at that age.'



'Yeah, no kidding. Anyways, I was wondering...about some more of your gunners.'



'........'



'I mean, I don't need 'em yet, but...you know, I want to be able to call you and be like, 'NOW, NOW' and you'll be all 'I GOT YOUR BACK, DAWG' and shit. We can be like Eminem in 8 Mile, but with different hair. Yeah?'



'Uh...sure.'



'These people are begging to die. Not a word of lie.'



'..........'



'John?'



'How about...call me when you know more.'



'Oh, for shizz. Hey, we're throwing a WE WON barbecue on the 18th if you're free. ZZ Top's going to play. Laura's going to do that eggplant thing. And you just know 'those' pants are coming out. Tell me you're there.'



'I'll....yeah, sure.'



'I'm counting on you, Junior Burger!'



'Yeah.'



'You're my best friend in the whole world, you know that? My best friend!'



'..........'



'Say it, John!'



'..........'



'Say it!'



'I'm your best friend in the whole world.'



'And you'll never leave me.'



'And I'll never leave you.'



'Atta boy. Aren't you glad we had this chat? I know I am.'



'.......'


*click*





303 days til the next election.