Inspector Vadget.

This from today's paper, and most pleasing to a girl who accidentally drank an espresso martini right before bed and has thusly barely slept SOMEBODY MAKE THE CAFFEINE PIXIES DISAPPEAR PLEASE KTHX:


'SUSPECT 'FILMED UP 100s OF SKIRTS'


A man arrested for using a camera to look up women's skirts on trams might have filmed hundreds of people over four years, police said yesterday.

The man, in his mid-20's, used one camera hidden in the toe of his shoe and another disguised as a walkman to film his victims.

He was arrested on Monday after filming a woman on a tram bound for the CBD. The woman and her partner complained to police, who found the man on another tram travelling down St. Kilda road.'


Firstly.


If someone wants to see my knickers, they really only have to ask politely. They're underpants, big deal. What's the thrill of sticking a camera up someone's dress to see their gusset anyways? You only get that horrible diamond of pantyhose which looks like a particularly hirsuite burglar creeping in through a bedroom window and doesn't necessarily inspire throbbing lust in anyone under the age of 70.


Secondly!


THE MAN IS A GENIUS.


He had a camera in the toe of his shoe and ANOTHER ONE DISGUISED AS A WALKMAN. Why are we locking him up? He's a Bond-esque inventor who should be given a circular office and access to the nation's best laboratories. So what if he likes watching video of thighs rubbing together on sticky tram seats? WE EACH OF US HAVE OUR CROSS TO BEAR.


Thirdly!

'From the shoe camera, a cord ran inside his trouser leg to a bum bag in which a larger camera was constantly recording.

"He's done a very good job of concealing the camera itself...however, he did have a handheld video camera which he concealed as a Walkman with headphones coming from it, and this is the camera that the victim identified," Senior Constable Benskin said.'


Okay, so maybe he's not as entirely brilliant as I first thought. Basically he just stuck headphones on a camera and prayed no-one would notice.


And no-one did. FOR FOUR YEARS.




Whether this says more about his genius or the plain fact that people are as stupid as ass I'm yet to decide.



296 days til the next election.